____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
