So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
