So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
