At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
