get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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