Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
