After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
