I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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