Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
