i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
