I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
