I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
