Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
