did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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