I'm so fucking centered right now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
