white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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