He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
