this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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