Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im part way to drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm bleeding and have questions
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
