i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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