I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
