she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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