A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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