Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
