Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
