Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
