bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
