Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can't special order awesome
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
