why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
