I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
