If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So much rum. So many feels.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
