Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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