I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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