it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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