This girl is more easily done than said...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
