nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize