Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
