You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sponge bath it is.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
