singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
