omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have aggressive nipples.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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