Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
