when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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