She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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