Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
