when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
