My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
