Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
