You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
