Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
