uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
