Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
